| "Did I mention that I'm the eminent Proust scholar in the United States?" |
[20 Jan 2007|01:04pm] |
So last night I watched Little Miss Sunshine with Sophia. I came home afterwards, only to find Wayne, my high school buddy turned post-college housemate, watching it on DVD as well. I expressed my amazement and went to my room to settle in.
Ten minutes later, Dan, our other housemate, came home and expressed his amazement as well. He too had just come from watching the movie somewhere else. Either this movie is really popular with people at the moment, or it was a strange three-way coincidence. What are the odds of that?
I just came back from getting a haircut. It's been growing for, oh, two months, and I've been told that I looked like a Hong Kong actor/singer. It was nice to be able to comb it for a while too, but everyone told me that I looked too Chinese. I probably reminded them of their parents.
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| Pakistan and calculus. |
[23 Dec 2006|12:31pm] |
Last night, I dreamt about going for a jog in Pakistan and a slick calculus interface from Sun that did integration.
I was in an open field, which was beautifully devoid of vegetation, while the surrounding mountains were lush with greenery. I remember being surprised by the beauty of the surroundings. I expected Pakistan to be half-developed and fully ugly, in a state of development between pristine nature and bustling metropolis that captured none of the beauty of either, a look so typical of developing countries. Maybe the Lord wants us to be beautiful people, and that's why he told us to pick a side: to be hot or cold, but not lukewarm.
But back to my imaginary Pakistan. Maybe it was a special area for rich people, because there were mountains of majestically uneven heights on all sides, and embedded onto the sides of these mountains were grand mansions, grouped together here and there while leaving more than enough nature in between their clusters, unspoiled for the enjoyment of any passerby. Street lamps stood along a street that ran through the valley where I was seeing all this. It looked like it had to be America, but with beauty carried over to the next level--and then some. Somehow, though, I knew I was in Pakistan and there was no disputing that fact.
It was a really beautiful place. I started to jog across the valley and found that I could go on running without running out of breath.
After such an adventure, I kind of just found myself in front of a web form. It was a demonstration of a simple Java servlet with some simple JavaScript. It was an integrator, web-based and free, kind of like The Wolfram Integrator but slicker. I want to explore writing a calculus library just for the heck of it, but there's probably a reason why there aren't very many around.
I would say both dreams were equally beautiful.
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| How Joshua got his groove back? |
[21 Dec 2006|01:14am] |
Some folks, I heard, did a survey a while back asking people who were close to death what they wished they had done differently during the course of their lives. Among the top answers was, "I wish I had stopped to reflect."
Well, tonight, I stopped to reflect. It was refreshing and it brought a much-needed moment of clarity.
I have lost my Joshness.
I've forgotten my core value: I don't deserve anything, and I should be thankful for everything, because everything is a bonus.
I have to remember that life could end at any moment for me. It's probably not going to happen anytime soon, so I should lead a life I would be proud of leaving behind, if something were to happen.
I've got to learn deeply, to the core of my being, that I shouldn't be ashamed of what I do well, even when--and especially when--it's different from what everyone else does.
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| Mouthwash. |
[02 Dec 2006|09:07am] |
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The morning is a dangerous time. I just know that one of these days I'm going to drink my mouthwash.
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